babies were throwing up all over the place
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
