Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's official drugs can't kill me
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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