I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
