I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is my gift to your gina
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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