Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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