I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would fuck him just for his dog
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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