my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So squirting runs in the family.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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