Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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