remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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