so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I intend to get homeless drunk
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
