OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
