I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
