I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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