So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
