that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just google imaged poop.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
