I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
