Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
