I am full of burrito and curiosity
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
