Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
