Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
