You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
