Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
