i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
