He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
