It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
