Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
