How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
