ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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