Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
