I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
