So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
