I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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