Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
