i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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