The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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