You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
