lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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