can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i have two assholes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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