try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
