you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
