You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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