he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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