dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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