Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
PANTIES FOUND
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