Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
