Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
