She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
