Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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