remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
