do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
