just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This baby is an asshole
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
